Wednesday, December 11, 2013
New Frontiers in Lingerie
researchers at Microsoft are developing a smart bra that will detect the stress levels of women. By detecting stress levels, this bra will help alert women of their increased levels of stress, which leads to helping them prevent `eating their emotions.`
How sweet of Microsoft to be worried about our ladyfeelings and eating "issues'.
"This app will help `counsel` you to avoid going to the fridge because you`re just bored, extremely stressed or whatever the case may be."
Because your Bra knows what's best for you! It sends you a concerned text message:
Smart Bra: Step away from the Bourbon, Missy. That's for the Christmas Party.Put down the cheese and crackers. NOW!
Missy: But I have Feelings and Stress! Emotions, which while undetectable to human men, are completely measurable by sensors in my bra.!
What Microsoft is missing here: many women do not wear bras while they are in the privacy of their own kitchens, wearing pajamas and eating whatever the hell they want.What business is it of yours, Microsoft?
And why are they collecting data on women's stress eating?
Why not fix the real problem : women have unnatural levels of stress because they are still doing the lionesses' share of childcare and housework, while also holding down full time jobs. How about taking those research dollars and apply them instead toward getting affordable universal childcare, better schools, flexible working conditions and more equitable wages?
That would reduce some stress.
And while they're at it: A suggestion: Men's boxers and briefs that measure their stress levels and send text messages to them:
Smart Briefs: Hey dude, fold the laundry.