Showing posts with label gift don'ts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gift don'ts. Show all posts

Friday, October 19, 2012

His and Hers, Or, Matching, A Cautionary Tale

It must not have worked out with Cecil, because this pattern is folded, uncut. (We could have told her!)
There should be a warning label on patterns that show Happy Couples wearing matching outfits, saying "Proceed With Caution", or as Mr. Hunting Creek quipped, "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here."
For a sewing person, it is an early temptation. (Older and wiser sewists nod sadly). She/he likes to sew.. She/he wants to make a nice something for the Special Someone. This route is Fraught With Peril. Many a magazine has advised upon the dangers of "over-gifting.". You know: When you give him a hand knit fisherman's sweater made of hand-spun wool from your own antique heirloom sheep breed, and he gives YOU a Cross Pen Set for your desk.(Mr. Hunting Creek interjects here, "You aren't going to bring up that bicycle pump again?" Why yes. Yes I am. The Bicycle pump gift will never be forgotten in the annals of cross-gender gift giving.) How many sad tales of hand sewn gifts have we heard from our fellow sewists?
Handmade silk ties for him, he gives you a Magic Bullet. Hand made silk pajamas? A Cat Calendar in return.
But Love is deaf to warnings as well as blind, so our  fellow sewist purchased this fine pattern back in 1976, determined to make a trendy top for their beloved. To make this top most authentically, the use of ethnically inspired fabrics is strongly encouraged. Ikat, batik, Guatemalan hand-woven, African Wax prints  all good. Bonus points if you went to Africa/Guatemala/Peru YOURSELF to acquire this fabric  This will give the wearer the feeling of being a World Citizen, which was quite the thing among certain college students of my acquaintance back in 1976. (I myself had a dashiki shirt that I wore often with jeans to my classes, where one of my TA's announced blithely, "You don't have to be a Socialist in this class to get an A, but it will help.".This caused quite a sensation back at UC Irvine, heart of then staunchly Republican Orange County. I think my shirt may have shown how non-Orange County I was. I did get an A. I was not then nor have I ever been a Socialist, but I think the shirt helped.)
Make the shirt and iron it well. If you make a matching shirt for yourself, be aware that most men do not like to wear matching items of clothing. Mr. Hunting Creek, for example, would prefer to have hot sticks of flaming bamboo stuck under his fingernails than wear even so much as the same color shirt as his spouse to an outing. If he sees that I am wearing a dark blue sweater, and he has on a dark blue sweater that is close in color, he will demand that I change my top. Since like most women, I spent some mental energy selecting an outfit, so I refuse. He grumbles and changes.
Don't wrap the gift too nicely - just do it nice enough. Most men do not understand the niceties of excellent gift wrapping and your efforts (like the effort expended in making this shirt, most likely) will be wasted.
I have a spotty track record in the Gift Shirt, so I speak from experience here. I have made lovely, professional quality shirts for three boyfriends, two of whom broke up with me and one of whom married me. I admit, the sample size is small. But I have extensive anecdotal evidence that sewing a shirt for your boyfriend is like entering the Food Chain. Proceed with caution!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

What NOT to Give



Occasionally people ask me for suggestions on what to get their nearest and dearest for gifts. Since I am an oldest child and full of opinions, I will share my hard earned knowledge of Gift Don'ts in the hopes of helping others.

Don't waste your precious sewing time on people who don't understand the value of hand made gifts. You know who they are. The kind of person who says when you give them handmade pajamas, "I can buy this at WalMart for $10!" Oh Really? Next year, lump of sewing coal for you! This person does not understand handmade. They do not DESERVE a handmade gift. They are the people for whom the cold impersonal Gift Card was invented.
Don't give gifts that are meant to improve the other person. This is only implies that the other person is in need of improvement. Also very few people enjoy being improved.
Examples of such gifts: Mr. Hunting Creek is a lefty and is, how shall we say, handwriting challenged. A kind person would say that this is not a flaw, but an advantage! It's like his own personal shorthand! He can make notes no one but Chloe on 24 can read! His own mother (!!!) once gave him a Calligraphy Kit. He was Not Amused. Other gifts in this category include giving expensive clothes one size too small to encourage weight loss, and diet books. Bah Humbug!

I once had a boss who read every self help book ever published. Every Christmas he would send the latest to our team as gifts. Even worse, he would write in the book, thus diminishing its resale/regifting value! If a person wants a self help book, they will buy it themselves. That's why they call them "Self Help Books" not "Somebody Else Help" Books.

Do you want to really spread Holiday Cheer?
A nicer present would be to offer to teach someone to sew, or help them sew something themselves. These would be people who have expressed a desire to learn, so you can both have fun.
For your sewing friends, you could make a sewing gift card. Or invite those friends to a sewing party at your home, with fun snacks, and all sew together and have a nice visit. You could make a nice little gift card invitation and package it with some cute notions, like pretty buttons.

Good gift example: my sister gave me some beautiful fabric and a pattern for Christmas last year. She had it all packaged together with a super cute pincushion shaped like an easy chair. This was much appreciated. (Of course I love that fabric so much I have not yet cut it, but that's not her fault.)

I have heard horror stories of mothers in law who gave Joy of Cooking to professional noncooking daughters in law, men who gave hardware store gift certificates to their nonhandy girlfriends, and all time best - a gift of cookies in which a couple had been sampled. I am not making this up.

The wrong gifts can ruin relationships. While in High school, I made a lovely shirt for my then-boyfriend. It was a thing of beauty. He gave me...a teakettle. We broke up not long after that, and I know now that our gift incompatibility was one of the reasons.
The Holiday season is fraught with Gift Pitfalls. If we have friends who don't like or understand homemade gifts, it's clear that we need to give something that they understand or make new friends.
I'm baking cookies and making ornaments today, and I know the recipients will love both things. I hope that your efforts are equally appreciated.
Happy sewing!