No Comment

Several others have admitted to a shared enjoyment in reading the reader comments in online recipe blogs. I will also confess here, in public, to my addiction in the comments everywhere, but especially for products offered by online retailers. You’d think that people would not care enough to offer an opinion on, say, men’s pajamas, but au contraire! They care, and care deeply.
For example, these comments on men’s pajamas from the Gap:

“The colors were different than I expected when I ordered. The stripes are grey and teal or aqua on a white background- there was more white than I expected.”

.  Colors - most men don’t care or even know the difference between teal/aqua/blue etc. There was more white than she expected? Really? Does that matter?These are pajamas, not tuxedo pants-- your husband does not care about the stripes, I guarantee.

Love these thoughts on the sweatshirt hoodie, a slacker staple:

This won't function as a garment to keep you warm, but it is really cute and simple. I returned mine, but it fit me flawlessly. I got the Medium Tall size, I'm 6'4 and 170 lbs for reference. But yeah, if you want a layering hoodie or something to wear in the spring, this is good. Not for winter though.

So...he liked it but he returned it? and why would you buy a hoodie that wouldn't keep you warm? Isn't that the raison d’etre of the sweatshirt? The whole point of the hoodie(besides being warm and cozy) is to be emphatically Not Fashionable. To loudly display your complete disinterest in playing the fashion game, and also, to show that YOU don’t have to wear suits and ties, those are for the nameless drones who work for The Man.
I was pleasantly surprised to see a man use the description “cute” in his comments.

My favorite comments remain the comments on cooking blogs. The range of experience in cooks is so great that the review on a plain old cookie can be anything from 1 fork to 5 forks, depending on the cook:

I think I have to stop trusting the forks on epicurious. I now have a huge bag of these in the freezer. There is something they lack...I think it might be salt but I'm not sure. I even added some orange zest and chopped hazelnuts to some of them...still too crumbly and buttery in a bad way and not much better in the taste department. Maybe they're better with nutella?

The answer here is EVERYTHING is better with Nutella..;.next question?

These brownies were too cakey and not chocolaty enough for my taste. The former could probably be addressed by reducing to 4 eggs. But to address the chocolaty issue I'll probably just poke around for another recipe.

I think I could have a career as a recipe commenter therapist. The real problem here is a Fudgy Brownie Person has made a Cakey Brownie recipe. Like the Hatfields and McCoys, those two tribes should not be mixed. Also, brownie recipes with five eggs (!!!) should be avoided.. It’s not chocolaty enough because it’s made with melted chocolate, not cocoa - very zen but true.
Find a brownie recipe made with cocoa and fewer eggs.

And of course, some people take recipes personally, and are insulted by the very existence of a variation on a traditional bread::

First of all, challah is a bread for the Jews and it is made by certain standards and none of those standards are met with this recipe. Secondly, only Rosh HaShanah challah is round and it is made with raisins, cinnamon and honey/sugar but no seeds. The rest of the year the dough is braided as is shown in your kneading video. In my entire life I have never heard of a challah recipe with so little flour and not being kneaded. I would have no objection to this recipe if it were not called challah but this recipe is an insult to the Jews and to Challah itself.

Can’t non-Jewish people bake challah? Isn't that one of the reasons that makes America great? And what is so horrible about a quicker, easier version?
Something else is going on here besides her horror at a non-traditional baking method.
As a Recipe Therapist, I have to say, “Lighten up, sweetie”.

What’s your favorite comment? Please share.

(on a side note, I find it deeply amusing that Google spell check questioned the spelling of "hoodie". You'd think that they of all people would know , since that's all they wear at the Google campus.)

Compost Cookies

Love the Comments sections for recipes. Some people do not know how to read recipes, or cook, and their cranky comments are available for all the world to see. As my Grandmother would say, “bless their hearts.”  It was the comments on the Momofuku Milk Bar Compost Cookies recipe that intrigued me.
The success rate was all over the place.There were people who got great cookies, and people who threw the whole batch away.
“the 1st pan was greasy,flat,and chewy so I threw it away “, “Very disappointing. I don't see how the cookies came out so puffy and dense for you. Mystifying. I wouldn't try this again based on how it worked for me, but would if someone had tweaks to improve the recipe listed here.”
“When I finally baked them, I was so disappointed. I let the dough balls chill all afternoon, and I set the oven to 400 degrees, but they just wouldn't cook in the middle. They got super dark (almost burnt) on the edges, but raw in the middle..”

What was it with this recipe?
There are several versions of this recipe online: there is this one in the Los Angeles Times, this one on Food.com, also here, and here.
Careful reading of the ingredients shows that this is based on the Toll House Cookie .But the techniques supplied are different. The Chef, Christina Tosi, advises beating the butter and sugar for ten minutes in a mixer (!!!), plus she adds what I considered unnecessary additions: corn syrup, and too much salt.
I know from reading the comments that some people’s cookies came out flat, but looking at pictures of the “real” Compost Cookies, they are somewhat flat. Most people have an unrealistic expectation of what a cookie should look like, based on a lifetime of buying cookies, as opposed to making cookies. (Just like they don’t know what good clothes should look like, because they wear RTW).
I resolved to conquer the Compost Cookie.
After reading all of the recipes online, I decided to start with this one, with the following changes, based on my ten thousand hours plus of cookie baking.
I eliminated the corn syrup, which is my view provided more sweetness, plus makes the cookies flatter.
I decided against the ten minute beating of the sugar and butter, because that makes the butter soft and oily, causing unpleasant texture.
I did not add any additional salt, because I used salted butter, and the potato chips and pretzels are plenty salty. Since I did not beat my cookies senseless, I did not have to chill them overnight, although if you want chunky, chewy cookies, as opposed to flat, oily cookies, this is a good idea, if you have time.
Momofuku Milk Bar's compost cookies
Adapted from Los Angeles Times version of the Momofuku Milk Bar in New York.

First, make the graham crust
Graham crust
1 1/2 cups  graham cracker crumbs ( I crushed a package of graham crackers in my Cuisinart, and measured the correct amount)
1/4 cup  milk powder
2 tablespoons  sugar
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) melted butter, more if needed
1/4 cup heavy cream
I did not add any additional salt here, because graham crackers already have salt, plus my butter was salted.

I mixed this all together in the Cuisinart, and then set it aside.
There is more than you need for the recipe, so I stored the remainder in the fridge, and resolved to think of other things to add it to.

Compost cookies

1 cup  butter,  (recipe writers always tell you to use room temperature butter. This is flat out wrong, IMHO. It will lead to flat and oily cookies. Your butter should be solid and only slightly pliable. You will be able to gently bend it. It will not be soft.)
1 cup  sugar
2/3 cup light brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/3 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 cup mini chocolate chips
1/2 cup (1/4 recipe) graham crust (from above)
1/3 cup old-fashioned rolled oats
2 1/2 teaspoons ground coffee
2 cups potato chips
1 cup mini pretzels
I also added ½ cup crushed and broken Oreos
and ½ cup crushed corn chex

My method: mix butter and sugars together in Cuisinart .Add egg, and vanilla. Add flour, baking powder, baking soda. I did not add additional salt as my butter was salted and the potato chips and pretzels have salt.. I removed this from the Cuisinart, and had Mr. Hunting Creek blend in the pretzels, oatmeal, chips, chocolate chips, chex, Oreos, etc. He decided to break up the pretzels and potato chips slightly. When it was all mixed together, I let it rest in the fridge for a while - maybe an hour? while I did Christmas shopping “research” online, and Mr. Hunting Creek watched football.
Then I used my tablespoon cookie scoop to form the cookies. I did not want giant, salad plate sized cookies. I do not want to eat that much cookie at one time,. so I opted for a saner size. Preheat your oven to 350. .
We baked a batch at 350 for 14 minutes, you may need to go a minute longer or shorter - you should always do a test batch to see if the recipe time works for you. Don’t do what so many commenters did and bake giant batches of cookies at 400 degrees, just to end up throwing them out. Doing this - baking a giant batch for the first run through is like using your expensive fabric for a pattern that you have never made before. Make a muslin! Do a test batch!

My version of Compost Cookies came out delightfully craggy and crunchy and chewy. Baking time has a lot to do with texture too. Bake slightly less if you want a more chewy texture.
Next time I make these I will try reducing the sugar a little bit and adding different “Compost” ingredients. My testers liked them,
I will include these in my Christmas cookie tins this year.
What new cookie recipes are you going to try? Or do you stick to tried and true?

Frankenstorm Prep

Photo of Sandy, aka "Frankenstorm", aka "Snor'Eastertcane" courtesy NOAA

Mr. Hunting Creek is hard at work clearing the gutters, removing dead branches and putting the outside furniture and umbrella away. We have already bought bottled water, batteries and all sorts of food, including what looks like a month's supply of cat food. "How long do you think we  would be trapped in our neighborhood?" I asked Mr. Hunting Creek. We have just the two cats. We have 15 cans of food.. He said, "It's best to be sure." There's a man who takes care of the pets first!
Last year at this time it was snowing, now we're getting a monster storm, the likes of which have never been seen before. Global Climate change is real and it's happening now. We had the Derecho this summer and it was bad enough..
In honor of the approaching storm, I have made some preparations of my own. I made my weekly batch of granola, and to use up three ripe bananas, a batch of Melissa Clark's Olive Oil Chocolate Chip Banana Bread. It's a storm emergency. Plus we can eat banana bread with no cooking required, if the power goes out.
I stopped by the Variety Store to get some materials for ornament making that I can do by hand if we are without power. I think we're ready. Stay safe and dry, my Mid-Atlantic friends.

Hand Made Olive Oil Granola

Every week I make a giant batch of olive oil granola and all of it gets eaten. It's easy to tailor the recipe to your own preferences..
Here is my basic formula:

Olive Oil Granola
 4 cups old fashioned oats (I use the gluten-free organic oats from trader Joe's, but you can use any kind of course)
1 cup sliced almonds
1 cup chopped walnuts
\1 cup unsalted sunflower seeds
1 cup pumpkin seeds (unsalted, hulled)
1/4 cup toasted flax seeds
1/4 cup ground flax seeds (these add omega 3)
1 teaspoon cinnamon (sometimes I use pumpkin pie spice)
1 teaspoon kosher salt (if you use regular salt, only use 1/2 teaspoon)
1/2 cup olive oil
1/3 cup maple syrup
1/3 cup honey

Mix ll of the dry ingredients together, then pour in the olive oil, honey and maple syrup. Mix well, Pour into a greased large baking pan or two greased cookie sheets. Bake at 325 F  for 45 minutes - BUT - you need to set the timer for 15 minute and stir every 15 minutes.I like it toasty - if you like it less toasted, then bake 30 minutes and stir every ten minutes.
Let cool, break up with a wooden spoon and store in a sealed container. This only lasts a week in my house.
If you don't like nuts, leave them out. You can use any kind of nuts - pistachios, hazelnuts, macadamia nuts...your choice. I add flax seeds, but you could leave them out. You could use canola oil instead of olive oil. You could use coconut oil - I have - it's delicious. Instead of honey you could use all maple syrup, or agave syrup, or all honey  If you like it sweeter you could add a quarter cup of brown sugar, more cinnamon, ...you get the idea. If you would like to add dried fruit wait until after it is toasted. Dried cranberries are nice. So are freeze-dried blueberries.

What do I do with all of this granola? I'm glad you asked.
I sprinkle it on top of mt Greek Yogurt and fruit

I add it to my cooked oatmeal, for crunch.
It makes an excellent topping for baked apples.
Last summer I ground it up and used it for a cheesecake crust. This gave Mr. Hunting Creek ideas - he ground some up with melted butter and more cinnamon, and spread it on some pizza dough that was in the fridge and made cinnamon rolls.
I add it to cookie dough.I add it to pumpkin and banana bread.
You could always make a half batch, but it makes a great gift.
I like to give some to neighbors for Christmas, in a pretty container, tied with a bow.
pretty soon they'll be back with the empty container, asking for more.

Mother-in-law Recipe Box Project

When my mother-in-law closed her kitchen , the one thing Mr.Hunting Creek wanted was her recipe card file. My sister grabbed the same thing when her mother-in-law closed her kitchen. But what to do with all these recipes? We  decided that we needed to write a cookbook, so they would not be lost. Some of them are quite charming, and all have that special mid-century certain American calories and fat be damned attitude. (Also, what was all the margarine love about?)We didn't want them to be lost forever. Of course, that means we will actually have to scan them in and then write it.
As we all know, the best way to tackle a project like this is just to START.
Here's the first recipe installment:

Banana Nut Pancakes

This one was cut from newspaper - probably the Los Angeles Times Food Section.  And then taped to a 3x5 note card. There is another, hand-written recipe on the back for muffins that we'll get to another time.

These are moist and delicious and an excellent use for a ripe banana.

I cup flour
2 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
1 egg
2 tablespoons oil
1 medium banana, chopped
1/4 cup chopped walnuts

Combine flour sugar, baking powder and salt, set aside. In large bowl, stir milk, egg and oil until well blended. Add flour mixture., blend well. Stir in banana and walnuts. Scoop by scant 1/4 cup cupfuls on to hot, lightly greased griddle. Cook, turning once, until golden. Serve with margarine and syrup. Makes 12

What I do differently in my kitchen: for one thing, I never let margarine so much as darken my fridge. It would be a nice touch to toast the walnuts first, but that is unlikely to happen in my kitchen on a  Sunday morning. But maybe if I were feeling OCD about it, I'd toast them the night before.
I use melted butter in them instead of oil, just because I like that extra layer of buttery flavor. And sometimes   add a dash of vanilla, if I remember. And I serve these with applesauce or other fruit, bacon and Real. Maple Syrup. That fake stuff is just flavored Corn syrup.

One recipe card down,about a hundred more to go.

What Not to Do

Beginners always start with the complicated. They decide to learn to bake and decide their first project should be a buche de Noel, or a croquembouche, instead of some nice, simple brownies. When they start to sew, they want to make wedding dresses, prom dresses and jeans, instead of pillowcases and aprons. It was always thus. When I was in high school sewing, they made us make ditty bags for PE or some such nonsense, and I couldn’t be bothered. For one thing, everyone I knew did not haul their PE Clothes home in some dumb bag – we crammed them into our backpacks bags on pain of death (you will wash these weekly or get an F in PE.) and always forgot to tell our mothers to wash them until late Sunday night, hauling back damp clothes (if we remembered them at all) on Monday. (I can still hear my mother yelling that “you knew you had to wash these two days ago, why wait until the last minute?”) Anyone who knows how to sew knows that making simple stuff is hard enough. When I get tired of making shirts or blouses ( so many details! So much finishing! Buttonholes!) I make a tee shirt. Tee shirts are easy but I’d never tell a beginner to start there. There is just too much to explain and grasp before we even get to tee shirts. No. Instead, I’d say in a cheerful voice, “How about a nice PILLOW?” The new sewist is full of scorn at this suggestion. They want to make a skirt! They see a burgundy velvet pencil skirt with black piping. An invisible zipper. Lining. Or they need a party dress for this Saturday. Nothing good can come of this idea, but there you go. I freely confess to making party dresses and hemming wedding dresses not only at the last minute, but doing the finishing touches while Mr. Hunting Creek turned the key in the ignition, I am not the best person to ask to teach a beginner how to sew and/or cook. It’s clear that I live for danger. I am the Flying Wallenda of domestic arts. I could teach you what NOT to do. That would be a good place to start. We’ll start with what not to do: Do not make a wedding cake for a friend in the summer in Virginia. It’s HOT. It is against the laws of Physics to set your air conditioning to absolute zero so that the frosting doesn’t melt. Do not get roped into volunteering to host the cheerleader Christmas Dinner. (It started to snow. It was originally going o be a Progressive dinner, with entrée at one house, dessert at another, but the coach decided that was too dangerous, with it starting to snow and all, so she said could I have all of the teams at my house? And all of the courses? Oh sure, I said, weakly, not envisioning the utter overwhelming Extreme Perkiness of 60 plus cheerleaders in one place. Now you know – Do Not Try This at Home. Don’t volunteer to make your daughter’s duck costume for the third grade school play. Because what will happen is, the teacher will see it and then ask you to make ALL of the ducks, because the other mothers are Lazy Slackers…I mean, Busy Career Women who do not know how to sew, in self defense probably, now that I remember all of those duck costumes) Don’t make a recipe you’ve never made before for people you don’t know. It might be a huge success, it might be a disaster. I’m betting on disaster. I of course do this all of the time, but remember, I Live For Danger. I’m the James Bond of Domestic Arts. And finally, don’t give the secret recipe for your baked bean casserole to anyone, unless they swear to never reveal that it consists of Mrs. Bush’s beans and a pound of Bacon. Just sayin.

Green Bean Dystopia

We won't be having green bean casserole on Thursday. As a matter of fact, we will NEVER have green bean casserole in this house, by this cook, EVER. Green beans are a nice enough vegetable, but they are not traditional to my family's Thanksgiving, or Mr. Hunting Creek's. His family always had a nice broccoli casserole made with cream and sherry and parmesan and slivered almonds (no cans of soup involved); mine always had whatever my dad felt like making, (he never ever made Green Bean Casserole).
We never encountered this dish (abomination is not too strong a word) when we grew up in California. Californians are fortunate to have abundant fresh vegetables all year round.
It was only after we moved to Virginia that it made itself known. Our first year here, we were invited to Thanksgiving at the home of Mr. Hunting Creek's new boss. He was worried that we didn't know anyone and had no family nearby. We had never had Thanksgiving at a non-family member's home. It was here that we discovered that some people think that Green Bean Casserole is a food. We were troupers; we ate it. After we got home, Mr. Hunting Creek and I agreed to never let that dish darken our table again.
It was with shock and horror that I read this morning that about 30% of American families serve it for Thanksgiving.(Others hate it too!) With news like that, it is surely the harbinger of the End Times. People! Cook some broccoli, for Pete's sake! Or some fresh brussels sprouts. Or some nice creamed spinach. We'll be having roasted brussels sprouts with pancetta and roasted chipotle sweet potatoes. The cream of mushroom soup will be where it belongs...in a Tuna Casserole, on some other table, some other night.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Future Shock

When I went away to college about 30 years ago, there were no laptops, no ipods, no Apples, no GPS systems. Mr. Hunting Creek and I had to find our way to Berkeley alone. Our parents did not drop us off or attend any orientation functions. We were on our own. Parents in those days threw some money at you and expected you to figure stuff out. Sink or swim, people!
Of course among the many things I packed, besides clothes and sheets and towels, were cookbooks and my sewing machine and patterns. I forgot to bring scissors, so one day I walked down College Avenue and bought a pair of Gingher shears that I have to this very day. I am reminded of this by articles in the paper today of how expensive it is to send a kid to college. I didn't have anything that the kids have now except sheets and pillows. (If I had had a computer, I'd have my doctorate today, because I was world's most reluctant typist and only the fear having to type constant twenty page papers held me back from a life of academia.)
We liked to cook our own meals, so we shopped and cooked from scratch. We entertained our friends. We came from families that cooked, so we believed that if we could read, we could cook. Just follow the recipe. Michael Pollan writes in today's New York Times that no one cooks any more. Can this be true? He didn't ask me. I cook. My husband cooks. My dad and brothers and sister cook. My daughter makes the best Toll House cookies on the planet. My son specializes in amazing sandwiches. He took a cooking class in high school, and would report back that they used Bisquik to make their pancakes, "Not like you, mom." (And of course, that the pancakes weren't as good as mine.)
Is it true? Does no one cook any more? I know lots of people who do. The only takeout that ever graces my kitchen is Virginia barbecue from the Virginia Barbecue company in Ashland, VA, or (lucky, happy day!) barbecue from Pierce's Pit Barbecue in Williamsburg VA, when Mr. Hunting Creek makes it his business to find business near Williamsburg.
If Michael Pollan would like to come to dinner, we'd be happy to make whatever he'd like. In the interest of journalistic integrity of course, to show him some people still know how.