Black Tie, Optional - BANNED

Black Tie, Optional

Attention: Wedding Planners
RE: Black Tie, Optional

Dear Sir or Madam,

The category “Black Tie, Optional” is not a valid dress code for weddings, engagement parties and anniversaries. It has been BANNED by the FIT, Nobel Committee and the Cotillion Society of America.

For all events, the following Dress Codes should be used:

Formal: White Tie
White tie or evening dress, is the Big Deal Dress Code. You are going to an Inauguration, or have won the Nobel Prize. (Your Mother is So Proud) According to Wikipedia (and who would argue with Wikipedia?)"The chief components for men are the dress coat, white bow tie and waistcoat, and starched shirt, while women wear a suitable dress for the occasion, such as a ball gown."

Semi-Formal: Black Tie
The Semi-Formal code has two components: Day or evening. For day wear, men should wear a black tail-less coat with formal trousers (Think JFK at his inauguration - and he also wore a Top Hat, because it was outside) After 6pm, the men wear black tie (commonly called a Tuxedo).Ladies would wear a short dress or cocktail dress.
A long dress is evening wear, and formal (White Tie, see above).

And then there is Casual. There are all kinds of casual, which is where a great many people get in trouble. My daughter called yesterday asking for advice. "What do you wear to a wedding that says the dress code is Black Tie, Optional?"
"There's No Such Thing," I told her, firmly. "It's either Black Tie, Semi-Formal, or it is Not!"
"I think they really mean Casual, but they also want to imply, no jeans."
"If they say Black Tie, optional, their guests could wear anything" I countered. Because there is no such thing." We decided that people who put that on invitations should be given difficult in-laws as their punishment. No wait, two sets of difficult in-laws.

Casual is situational. It can be kind of dressy but not, like Business Casual, or Playboy Mansion Casual, nighties and jammies encouraged, or couples Caribbean Resort Med Casual, which is clothing optional - the most casual of all. This is why we have Dress Codes. Imagine your horror if you go to an event in your nightie (because you thought it was Pajama Optional Dress Code)and everyone else is in Evening Gowns. Remember Bridget Jones in her Playboy Bunny costume at the party and you'll get the idea. Be kind to your guests. Say Formal, Semi-Formal, or Casual. They will thank you. Really.

Pajamas and Bunny Slippers

I was on a conference call not too long ago, (at the Company-That-Can-Not-Be-Named) and the Vice President addressed those of us who were virtual workers, or as she said, "those of you in pajamas and bunny slippers". The IMs were flying back and forth like crazy between all of us after that statement. Were we all in pajamas and bunny slippers? (A good friend of mine feels that Business Casual has ruined the American workplace; people have been sighted wearing flip-flops at work! A sign of the End Times, he feels.) I did a quick poll of all of my fellow virtual workers. What did we all wear to work, since we worked at home?
The results: no pajamas, 2 sweats, 4 jeans and t shirts, 2 shorts and t shirts and no bunny slippers. While not a scientific poll, I'd like to speak in defense of my fellow virtual workers. While we don't wear business clothes at home, we don't wear pajamas all day either. After all, that hot UPS man comes to the door quite frequently and we don't want to give him the wrong ideas. What is this bunny slipper myth, and where did it come from? I don't even know anyone who HAS bunny slippers.
The image above is from Tesla Motors, and is shows their brilliant interpretation of the Bunny Slipper. Clearly they felt that all of the Hipsters at Burning Man would know what a bunny slipper meant. Is a bunny slipper just a slipper? Or does it mean Something More? There is even a BunnySlippers.com. , a jazz band called Fuzzy Bunny Slippers, and whole websites discussing their cultural relevance. They are the footwear of choice among Vampires. Clearly the person who wears them risks being seen as either ironic or a fool; such a lot of cultural baggage for something so small pink and fuzzy!
Dr. Freud said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar; but was that Vice President implying that those of us who worked at home were slackers? Wouldn't you insult a candidate's work ethic if you implied that they wore bunny slippers? Then he or she would have to escalate the rhetoric and show that, no, they were tough on relaxation; they wore the Killer Rabbit Slippers instead.