Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Not Interested

I saw so many copycat gowns at the Emmy Awards, I decided that the Global Fashion Cabal had infiltrated the League of Hollywood Stylists and enforced their version of a Style irade: "Wear a strapless or one-shoulder gown", their ransom note read, "Or we kill this miniature poodle!"
And after a long and puzzled look at contemporary fashion, I have come to the following conclusion: Fashion is no longer interested in dressing regular people.
For example, does Fashion really think the average working woman will go to office meetings with painted on tattoos and see through skirts? See-through blouses? Tedious floral prints? (Oscar de la Renta, how could you?) Of course the Fashion Apologists (they have also been infiltrated by the Global Fashion Cabal, don't listen to them) say, "Oh those designs are for the runway only! They look totally different when they get to the stores!" To which I reply, after hearing this reply for 30 years, "Bah Humbug", or as the kid said, "I say it's spinach, and I say the hell with it!"
The Global Fashion Cabal has made it abundantly clear that they are not even remotely interested in dressing women over 18. Even though we all know that women 12-30 can only afford to shop at H&M unless their daddy is Tommy Hilfiger.
Of course we read in the NY Times and elsewhere that women and their pocketbooks (last year's pocketbook, could not afford a new one this year) are staying away from stores in droves. It is like a big game of Chicken: the Fashion Cabalistas get more and more outrageous, and the buying public buys less and less. We all know who is going to win this game- except the Fashion Cabalistas are still in the Denial Stage of the BreakUp.(I know she still loves me! She's just busy, that's all. She didn't get my message!) Most women have enough clothes in their closets to last them until the Rapture, and as long as it is culturally acceptable to wear last year's fashions, and there are no cool new things to buy, they will continue to stay out of the stores. The Global Fashion Cabal thought that their little "Fashion's Night Out" event would tempt. Yawn. Or as Miranda Priestly might say, "Bore someone else with your fashions."

1 comment: said...

Amen. Come on! Get INTERESTING, people!